From time to time everyone needs a little inspiration. I’ve been looking forward to attend another ESM commencement ever since my first one in May of 2006. To be an alumnus of the Eastman School of Music, one of the world’s most reputable music schools, is and always will be my greatest pride. The speeches at the commencements here are always profound and thought provoking. However, most important of all it is exhilarating to be surrounded by people who are driven by love and passion in a world that is motivated by money and power. Never have I met people with so much dedication in pursuit of their dreams. This is my little slice of heaven. I can spend a whole life time sinking into a seat in the grand balcony under the largest chandelier in
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Inspiration
Saturday, May 17, 2008
The Counterfeiter
Who would have known that the music of Hugo Diaz would go so well with a film about Holocaust? I was a bit surprised at first but as the story unfolded I began to understand the appropriateness of the music. Tango tunes are simple music with complex emotions: a dash of sadness for unrequited love, a pinch of nostalgia for yesteryears, and a touch of melancholy for the fleeting moment but never anything definitive. Tango is a dance of the moment. When we dance there is no past and there is no future. We live by the music. Every beat dies a little death. Maybe that’s the parallel.
I walked over to Spot for a little pick-upper afterwards. Films relating to the Holocaust are rarely uplifting except when you consider the strength of the human spirit. Come to think of it four of my favorite movies are of the same topic: Life is Beautiful, Lives of Others, The Pianist and The Counterfeiter. I’ve never being particularly interested in the time frame but it’s always inspiring to see ordinary people overcoming extraordinary circumstances. It makes my problems, whatever they might be, seem like no problems at all.
Movie Synopsis:
The COUNTERFEITERS is the true story of the largest counterfeiting operation in history, set up by the Nazis in 1936. Salomon "Sally" Sorowitsch is the king of counterfeiters. He lives a mischievous life of cards, booze, and women in Berlin during the Nazi-era. Suddenly his luck runs dry when arrested by Superintendent Friedrich Herzog. Immediately thrown into the Mauthausen concentration camp, Salomon exhibits exceptional skills there and is soon transferred to the upgraded camp of Sachsenhausen. Upon his arrival, he once again comes face to face with Herzog, who is there on a secret mission. Hand-picked for his unique skill, Salomon and a group of professionals are forced to produce fake foreign currency under the program Operation Berhard. The team, which also includes detainee Adolf Burger, is given luxury barracks for their assistance. But while Salomon attempts to weaken the economy of Germany's allied opponents, Adolf refuses to use his skills for Nazi profit and would like to do something to stop Operation Bernhard's aid to the war effort. Faced with a moral dilemma, Salomon must decide whether his actions, which could prolong the war and risk the lives of fellow prisoners, are ultimately the right ones."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Frustration
I might not have many talents but when it comes to stress I’m the expert. I was stressed when I was in school; I was stressed when I was on vacation; I was stressed when I was working; I was stressed out in Argentina; I was stressed out in Vegas and now I’m stressed out in Rochester. What’s worse than being stressed out all the time is that I somehow have the natural ability to disguise most of it and appear perfectly fine to others. So I don’t even get a sympathy hug. Next time when I get an opportunity to answer such question as “What is your greatest weakness?” I’ll have to say my inability to express intense emotions other than rage. I’m not the kind person who breaks down easily or act super excited at surprise parties. I’m never excessively nervous or dramatic. I’d probably make a bad Italian except when it comes to arguments. I’m so stressed out all the time that my shoulders are undoubtedly the toughest muscle in my body.
I’m getting pretty frustrated with job hunting and that’s an understatement. After four and half years of school, 2 degrees, and 90K in tuition I have zero employability. I have seen zero return on that investment. I have easily applied 200 jobs just this year (including 20 last night) and heard zero call back.
Yesterday I started to study for GMAT. Sentence correction problems are kind fun considering I just taught English in
Last night I looked up information on actuary exams and thought about getting down and dirty with some statistic books. For some reason working in statistics or accounting has always been one of my worst fears along with working at a highway toll booth. Mom always nagged me to take those exams even though statistics was by far my worst subject in school. Well, that and music theory. Everyone thinks just because I’m Asian I should automatically be good with numbers. I have no problems with number as long as we’re talking about 5th grade math, the usual +, -, x, /. If someone told me 6 years ago that I’d consider being an actuary I probably would have ended my life right there.
Knowing how difficult it is to get a job in finance nowadays I have channeled most of my search into secretarial jobs. I can read, write, type, answer phone calls and file. What exactly are they looking for? I actually saw one posting on Career Builder looking for someone with a secretarial science degree. I didn’t even know such thing existed!
I know I’m ranting a lot here but it’s frustrating that I have no one to complain to. Nobody understands how stressed out I am. Everyone just tells me that I’m a smart cry baby and if I try hard enough I can get a job just like the rest of the people in the country. I know plenty of average people with jobs but I don’t know what exactly I need to do to get one myself. I was told that I’m over qualified for a $10/hour job and so far I don’t seem to qualify for anything I’ve applied. Could somebody please let me know if I have a gigantic DONOT HIRE sign on my forehead? I’m starting to feel like the 40-year-old virgin only with jobs. I wish people could understand; I do try.
My other weakness is that I think too much. I’ve had many people telling me the same thing including professional psychologists and lately my roommate Andy, who has a degree in psychology from
More and more I feel like it is human nature to look for a sense of belonging, a niche where we feel some sort of equilibrium. Although I’m stressed out with the whole job thing, the lack of belonging and hopefulness is also starting to bother me. Everyone belongs to some sort of group, democrats, republicans, dart league, pool league, employed, unemployed, college educated, non-college educated, majority, minority, married, single, straight, gay, bi, whatever it is there seem to be a support group for it. I used to think I belonged with the musicians but those days are long gone. Now I don’t know where I fit in. I don’t play guitar, dance tango or go to school anymore. I will have been working at the same club on and off for five years this fall and I never felt I belonged there. My full time job is to look for a job. I loved Buenos Aires but I didn't belong there. People think I’m Chinese in the
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Hardware Failure
First day back to
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I'm Back!
4,200 miles later I’m finally back to where I started:
Lunch Stop at the Windy City
I’ve driven over 24 hours without stopping now. Somehow it’s hard for me to blow through
Lao Sze Chuan is a well-known establishment in Chicago Chinatown that has been catering to native and American dinners alike over the past decade. I can’t remember exactly when I first came here but since then it has been a must-stop destination every time I come to the city (along with a Brazilian steakhouse chain name Fogo de Chao). After getting directions on the phone from Rob and Eli I finally made my way to
I’m an adventurous person but when I find a good one I like to stick to it. There’s a restaurant in
My dishes at Lao Sze Chuan are Mapo tofu and Lamb with alfalfa. To me Mapo tofu is the single measuring stick for all Sze Chuan restaurants. The southern Chinese province is known for its spicy cuisine and this is one of the most distinct dishes coming out of the area. I’ve had it in many places from its original birth place to
My father side of the family is originally from Sze Chuan so I was born with hot chili peppers in my blood. Having only been to Sze Chuan once when I was very young, eating deadly spicy food makes me feel close to my heritage. There are many things I can live without but I can’t live without the mouth-numbing, tear-jerking, sinuous-clearing, temperature-rising, sweat-pouring Sze Chuan chili peppers.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Ida is a Ho
Idaho, that’s one place I most likely not going to visit again. I started driving out of