Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Visit

The only thing on a mom's mind is the welfare and future of her daughter. A good daughter by most Asian parents' standard is not one that thrives on her own, independent or even seeks happiness, but rather, an obedient one who respects her parents' opinions/instructions by following them to the tee even at the expense of their happiness. Compare to all to the rest of the second generation Chinese American kids in my parents' social group I sticks out like a sore thumb. When other kids are going to Med school I was going to milongas in BA; when other kids went to Cornell I went to Eastman; and even at Eastman when other Asian kids played the violin I played the guitar. There must have been a mutation in my Asian gene and for that even my jeans don't fit right.

Parents never stop worrying about their kids. My folks decided to come for a visit as soon as I returned from my trip to Beijing. I have no objection to their visit but I had to clarify with them ahead of time that this will not turn into a two-day intervention of convincing me to go to Med school, Law school, Business school or whatever other school they think up. This has been a topic of discussion in every single conversation ever since the day I graduated from UR almost four years ago! Frankly, I don't have any objections going to school when the time is right and funding is justified. Having both immigrated here through their studies, my parents as well as their friends are true believers of education and the fact that it is the only way to change ones destiny. My mom, more specifically, believes that there is solely one honorable profession: medicine. I was never against studying to become a doctor. In fact, I did great in Biology, anatomy and AP Biology. But at the time, my passion was in music and I had to go for it. Mom thought I was completely insane. She still thinks so and in someways I can't help but feel like a total failure to her. My only comfort is knowing that deep down parents truly want their kids to be happy even though they may not always know what that is. Still, at some point I'd like to have a conversation with her without talking about Med school.

Other than the school talk, the visit was a success. We spent sometime with their old friends in Rochester, had few meals together, walked around Highland Park and Eastview Mall. Not bad for a weekend.

Thursday, April 8, 2010