Sunday, May 6, 2012

Stress Management

A month came and went since my last big exam. Still no news. The uncertainty of the outcome of the first exam and stress of preparing for another has raised my anxiety level to an all time high. I often think back to the summer of preparation prior to my senior recital as a way for self awareness of my mental state and perhaps more importantly to draw inspiration and encouragement from something I had succeeded in the past. The years at Eastman, although stressful and challenging, were some of the best times in my life. And because of those experiences, I am all too familiar with the paradigm and mental challenges of preparing for a high-stake exam: the gradual increase in awareness, the process breaking down and rebuilding troubling elements, new problems manifest in places where they've never occurred, reaching breaking point of stress, backing down from anxiety, re-evaluate/refocus, the eventual realization of all one can really do is giving 110% and let success find its way to you.

If not periodically offloaded the interior of an overactive mind is no less malignant than the physical resident of one of the individuals on that hoarder show. I can't be certain if lack of blog updates has adversely affected my stress level but as I'm launching a full assault on the stress villain every little bit helps. Writing is therapeutic. Rather than constantly juggling all my thoughts at once, writing forces me to distill, reorganize and transfer my thoughts to external storage, the blog. It also gives me the impression that my thoughts are heard and shared, which I find comforting.

In an effort to reduce stress I've also stopped carpooling to work. I find it more relaxing and easier to think when I'm driving alone. And as the saying goes, the fist step to recovery is admission. I openly acknowledged my stress to friends and allowed myself to "burden" them with my anxiety, something I have traditionally kept to myself convinced that no one else should have to deal with my troubles. In additional to sorting out some mental issues I slowed down my study and went for a long massage and met up with Cassie for a pedicure. Again, every little bit helps, right?

After all here are the advises that I plan to adhere to religiously for the next 30 days: study as if my life is dependent on it; relax knowing that my life doesn't depending on it; think positively and realize that my success is guaranteed one way or another. And at end of the day none of it matters for people who love me will always love me.


No comments: