Monday, June 25, 2012

BodyFlow

I went to BodyFlow after work today. It's a low impact workout class incorporating yoga and pilates. Normally I find the class relaxing and invigorating. Sadly, the only thing that was flowing this afternoon were my tears and I couldn't stop crying until I got home.

Rose emailed and reminded me that I once said babies are definitely in the pictures. Well, I don't quite recall saying that but I trust she has good memories. Even spending the weekend with my cousin and her baby didn't really make me wish I had one. Well, that's a moot point now since I have no one to have babies with. Instead, I just constantly feel like a gigantic failure. Rose suggested that I start shopping for a bambino partner, now, and stop checking out other goods on the shelves (there are other goods?). No more eye candy, drama queens, fixer-uppers (are there any guys who don't fall into those categories?). [I] should be looking for a friend, someone who wants a bambino, and a life partner, solid. Ok, I'll be sure to add that to my to-do list.

Something really strange struck me on my way home today. I'm almost 30 now and I haven't lived with my dad since I was five. For the first time in my life I wish I had a dad. I wish someone significant in my life could sit down, look me in the eyes and tell me that I've done ok and that some day some guy is going to be real lucky to have me. I could use some reassurance.

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